Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Recent Journal spreads

There are the most recent journal spreads I made in the last week or so.  Once again the copy is what I wrote when I shared them with the journal group.  This time I will start with the oldest to the newest-  and will include the dates.

March 16 at 3:18pm
Thank you for all the good thoughts and prayers- . We got not good news from the angiogram yesterday. Ron will need to have open heart surgery to replace a valve. We hope to have our consultation with the surgeon next week - the doctor yesterday said this is not an emergency but needs to be done soon as possible. So we hope the surgery will be scheduled soon after that- long recovery. Moving plans on hold. So today's spread is dealing with that- The title is: I don't Feel Like Making Lemonade.

March 17 at 3:25pm
Ok you are fair warned this is a rant- for the people that said I am just gloom and doom well it is looking more and more like what is happening. Trumpcare will kill people plain and simple. Before it was legal for Ron and I to get married i couldn't carry him on my insurance and and he had cancer- the expensive insurance that he did have with a 15 thousand deductible was suddenly dropped he had cancer they didn't want him anymore- it was before The affordable care was passed and they couldn't deny you with a pre-existing condition. - he finally found someone that would insure him for 4 thousand a month with a 12 thousand deductible. I say make the members of congress have what they are suggesting for the rest of the country. Buit then most are already millionaires so they could still pay for it-
And taking away meals on wheels- WTF? My mother-in-law was able to stay in her home because she received meals on wheels and didn't have to cook because she could no longer Ron and I paid for it but I mean how cruel- and not I just read free lunch at school for kids that can't afford it isn't worth it. Who are these monsters- where is the humanity- gone from our government. This spread is about the worry about health care.

March 19 at 2:26pm
I have been mulling over something that someone here said to me a while back- that I just talk about gloom and doom- well sometimes it really does seem like that's what it is in this country now-I know there are many wonderful things and this group certainly is one of those wonderful things. Seeing your expressions here feed my soul- I love seeing your wonderful works from happy ones to the serious. The collective energy from this group is the medicine that will get us through these times. I was thinking about the tale of Chicken Little. Many of you know that one- (well maybe the older ones like me LOL) The Sky is Falling The Sky is Falling- In the tale chicken little was wrong it was just an acorn hitting his head- but I do fear with the current plans to destroy the EPA that the sky very well may be falling- I care deeply for this country and for the environment world-wide. We need to stop the madness or the world will not be fit for the grand children to live in.

Keep Knocking and the joy inside will eventually open a window and look out to see who's there. Rumi
That is the quote for this spread. I do have to knock pretty hard sometimes but I do still have joy.

March 21  at 2:39pm
WE got the call today- Ron will have surgery the 31st- next week! So many emotions. It will be a big surgery - they will be replacing a valve and doing a by-pass. I titled this spread Breathe. I need to work on my breathing anyway- and I need to revisit my mindfulness books. Thank you for your thoughts & prayers. Also thank you for your continued comments on my journal work. Your love and support mean so very much.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

More Journal Work

I am trying to keep sane with the health issues here- (my husband's angiogram is tomorrow) and the very scary things happening in Washington. I am going the include the copy for each spread that I  wrote for the journal group.  Orly Avineri's group A Stand for Art Journaling  is a wonderful supportive place to share  journal work. So the references to comments and such were to that group.
The spreads will  go from newest to oldest and were done in the last week.

This is my spread from this afternoon- Some of you have asked about some images that reappear in my journal work. I like many of you I am sure- am drawn to certain things and use images of them a lot- collect pictures of them. The house - house shape- is big as I find it important to me- some people have stayed in their area where they grew up but we have kept moving around-we are hoping to move to the SW if we get the good news we hope on Wednesday after my husband's angiogram. Anyway the house shape is a symbol of warmth- safety- nest. I also use windows chairs and birds a lot- they all have different meanings for me- it's like my vocabulary- these inconagraphical (is that a word?) images I have used for decades really. Anyway this spread is called Discontented Man.. It is hard to feel contented in these current times- we all try to go about our lives but there it is on our mind- and that added to waiting on a medical test- well it is hard to find an easy chair or to stay seated.
Today was productive- well in the studio- I guess the house work can wait. I had some fun and this cold is getting better. I a couple of years ago took a beginning class on Sketchbook Skool- Danny Gregory started that. I use to draw a lot- then fell out of the habit- I am feeling the need to do more again. This spread was taking drawings I already had and scanned I printed some out and cut them out. The drawing I did of myself is a contour drawing.

I want to first thank you all for the supportive comments- I realize some found my spread to be a bit much but sometimes that's exactly how things now feel more than a bit too much. Your comments mean the world to me. Here is a quote that inspired today's spread.
When you come to the edge of all you know, you must believe one of two things: either there will be ground to stand on, or you will be given wings to fly. O.R. Melling.
Given the times not so sure about ground to stand on but I am very honest when I say this group has given me wings. Thank you all so much.

I am so angry that I can hardly think straight- seeing the rising hate- families tore apart deported, people that were born here not allow back in- This government has turned this into the United States of Rejection. Replacing the health plan it their version that pads the rich and makes it out of reach for so many- and the arts- We are in sorry shape. I just can't wrap my head around how they can be so cruel and gut everything unless it will make them money. Hate groups have been emboldened. I just watched a very scary news video of one group excited for the liberal genocide to begin. It is hard to keep the dream of a loving nation alive. So I did this spread it helped for a while. So very thankful for this group- an artful loving sanctuary The United States of Rejection.

This spread is called Dream Construction. I was thinking about how we can make our dreams into reality sometimes- One has to make the dream as real as possible in your head- I think many of us are doing that- dreaming of an end this nightmare in the country. I am also dreaming about a new neighborhood in New Mexico. It's March 9th and our actual temp for tonight is to be 14 below zero- windchills they say will be 30 below-

Well I will try to not write book here but this spread today was very cathartic for me. Things sometimes get to be a bit much sometimes- many of you have major challenges as I have read about some of them. I have come down with a really bad cold- I haven't had a cold in years and this one is a doosy. Things seem to have really gotten even more insane in Washington. So worried for my friends that depend on The affordable care act. We had a lab today- I am amazed that my lipid panel was all in normal range- Ron has the angiogram next Wednesday fingers crossed. Then we will know if we are able to resume plans to move. I did this spread in a Dylsions journal with black pages. The chair is a dollhouse chair that I set on a hosta leave- I did a whole photo shoot in Minneapolis of dollhouse furniture in the garden we had. Just came across some of those. This quote is for this spread:
Some days you just need to jump into the vortex and let the universe do its job.

Today was a very gloomy day here- fog drifting in and out- I don't do well with this kind of day- and Ron is sick with a cold and we are hoping he will be better for the appointment at the clinic Wednesday. I needed to write today so filled the background with writing- lots to process. I need to lose weight to help with my overall health and cholesterol. This has been a battle forever- at age 64 one would think I would have it together but I will once again and have lost 12 pounds in the last month. With the craziness in the country right now and this health stuff it has been a challenge as my way to cope has bee to self-medicate with food. So far so good- the body in the spread is an ideal and I have never had that- needing to be realistic -   Update as of March 14th- I have now lost 15 pounds!


Thursday, March 2, 2017

March Already?

Things have been a bit intense of late.  Ron and I went in for screenings- vascular and heart on February 15th- well the news was not so good. We both had Calcium CT Scans- we both have  plaque.  And the scan said for me that I had a 90% chance of there being a blockage. What I said????  We eat healthy  I mean really healthy and we exercise daily. Ron's numbers were not good either. We met with the cardiologist and she wanted us to stop exercising  And ordered a stress echo for us.  We had those- well they wouldn't let Ron take his as they didn't like what his heart looked like resting.  He has an angiogram in a couple of weeks- they did do a very detailed scan- I was told my stress echo was normal and can resume exercise. that after being told from the first scan I was in danger- Hoping Ron's comings tests and procedure has a good outcome.  It is so easy to take one's good health for granted. As if the terror in Washington wasn't enough- this health stuff has made for a very challenging time.  Like I usually do I turned to my journal to express and vent my fear and anxiety.

 I played the new Ryan Adams album a few times-when I was making this spread. He is a great story teller- sort of country- and for some he can be a bit on the melancholy side- Sometime when I am feeling sad or broken or scared I play music like that. To some that may sound odd but for me it is like wrapped a comforting quilt around me. This spread was inspired by a verse in his song Prisoner and it  was dealing with our first test results. That is also the name of the album. Here's the verse:
There's this one bird
Lands on the sill beside the bars
How can something born with wings
Ever know freedom to truly be free
Clock don't know what your memories do
They're stacking up beside the bed
I count 'em every night inside my head

This spread below is about the worry about tests. I copied my EKG and used that in this one.  The spread title is Test Anxiety.

The next spread below was done while we were waiting to have our Heart Calcium CT Scans.
That Rumi quote really drew me in.

Well I got my stress echo test back and I am so very thankful it is normal can resume exercise and still have to deal with my cholesterol but that's doable- Ron has a angiogram in 2 weeks. So we will know then what is happening there. So still very tense and the journal spreads today are dealing with that fear. With the internet we have almost too much access to information but of course we have researched what the test will involve- and the risks and all of that.  The spread below is called 
Angio Worry

Heart health weighs heavily here at home and it's hard to just let go and shake it off- Journaling does help- In all the research we have been doing I have seen this imagery and have saved and printed it out and cut it all out and so these have been in a pile on the studio table- not much left of the pile after these past couple days.

This last spread below is out of order but it really fits anywhere.  I need to try to more of this- and it is hard to sort fake news from real news at times.
Looking for Good News